Is there something in the water?

Is it just me or are more and more people having infertility issues these days? Perhaps my own experiences have just made me pay more attention, or maybe it's just talked about more? It is crazy how many people I know that have had to have the help of an RE (reproductive endocrinologist for those that don't know) to have their dreams of having a family come true. (I have just been thinking a lot about this lately and needed to purge my brain so I could actually get some work done, so here we go!) I can't help but wonder if there is some environmental factor in play here. It is just odd how many people in my life have had to experience difficulty or loss when it comes to having a family. And most of those people are my age.

I have had family members (myself included) and numerous friends from college struggle to have a family or to expand their family, all for various reasons and with various procedures and medications used. The majority that I know have had success, some still struggling and doing everything in their power to have that dream realized. People don't realize how much it can affect you mentally, emotionally and physically to want to get pregnant so badly and to try and try have nothing happen. I was near depression and my dear hub was suggesting we stop and I go to therapy because I was struggling so much. Needing a lot of help to even ovulate so the possibility of getting pregnant could even be in my future changed me. I am so thankful that I found that combination of pills and procedures to help me get there. I was terrified to get my hopes up so I think I had planned for the worst, expecting nothing to work. We had even discussed selling our house to pay for IVF or adoption if/when it came to that, and as much as I wanted to carry our baby I wasn't sure I was strong enough to try IVF and have it not work. But for us it didn't come to that and we were blessed with a wonderfully perfect-for-us little boy. I really feel like the journey to him makes me love him differently than I might if I had gotten pregnant right away and on my own. (Now, this is NOT to say that I love my kid more than anyone else loves their kid(s) - this is just me talking about my feelings pertaining to my family. Please no one be offended!) I feel like I look at every little milestone and every little experience with him in a more thankful way, like I appreciate it more. Perhaps my experience was put into my life to teach to truly be thankful and not take anything for granted - that is what I like to think anyway. Mind you I will love whatever sibling Eli has some day (hopefully) just as much as I love him whether we have that baby on our own or with help again. I think Eli just opened my heart up a little more and allowed me to love the people in my life a little deeper and to be more appreciative of their presence in my life.

For any reading this, I have four special friends (at least, there could be more that I don't know of) that are currently either expecting or working with their own REs to have babies. All have been having their own troubles, some have had VERY long and hard roads and some are at the beginning of their journey - all of them want desperately to have a baby though and all of them would be or are tremendous mothers! Please pray for my friends, that they may know the love that I have come to know and probably couldn't survive without. My journey to Eli was, in a twist, one of the best things to happen to me. I pray that my friends can say the same thing someday when they look at their children. The love you feel for your child and from your child is like no other....

Where did my baby boy go?

I know I constantly say that I don't know where time is going, but I'm sure all parents have felt that feeling that once your kid is born time speeds up and never slows down again. I still feel like it was last month that we had our last IUI that brought us Eli, and here we are and he is 15 months old and turning into a true little boy. He is walking all over the place, even starting to run more as he showed me his skills IN HIS CRIB last night (as visions of him smashing his face into the railing as he went down danced through my head - he isn't very sturdy when he's tired and despite the running he was tired).

We had the pleasure of turning his carseat around this past weekend. They changed the recommended age a few weeks before his birthday from one year to two years and as much as I don't necessarily agree with it I figured I would wait and ask his doc. I forgot when we were there for his 1 yr so at his 15 mo. last week I asked and his doc responded saying that those guidelines are based on size and that I have a kid that is plenty big to be safely facing forward - SCORE! I have to admit, it was getting difficult to get him in and out of that thing with it rear-facing, but if his doc would have recommended we stay that way I probably would have listened. However, we were told we could/should turn him so now he has the pleasure of facing the front! You would think most kids would be excited to see where they were going instead of facing a seat back but not my kid. He may like it, but if he does then he hides the excitement really well. I think he has raised his hands like he was riding a roller coaster two or three times for a few seconds and squealed, but other than that he sits very stone-faced staring ahead, it kinda cracks me up. He weighed in at a wonderful 28 1/2 pounds and is 33 inches tall by the way, 90+% on both ;-)
He is also expanding his vocabulary on what I feel like is a daily basis. Ball I think is his favorite word and toy, along with his cars. He points at every ball he sees, no matter where we are, and announces to us that he sees it (which I really love) and even manages to find the balls hidden in pictures as we read. His appetite is steady as ever, he really loves having family dinner with G and I too, he just sits there and smiles and looks at us as he eats....melts my heart every time!

I went back to work another day a little while back. I miss my Tuesdays with him now, but the extra money is nice (got a raise for giving up a free day too!) and will come in handy to save up for creating a sibling for E someday (if we have to go back to our RE for assistance that is). Besides, I still have my Thursdays off to get some mommy & E time! I would really LOVE for him to have a younger sibling, but if it isn't meant for us to have another baby ourselves then maybe we'll revisit adoption - that is a discussion for G and I to have if/when that time comes though. Neither of us really want him to be an only child (no offense to those out there, we have both gotten to reap the benefits of having siblings though) but we are not in control so I guess we shall see.

I should probably get back to work now. I have just gotten SO bad about writing anything on here, mainly because I am not sure who in the world would want to read about my daily life these days, but I decided that I didn't care and am going to try to get back to it anyway. It's cheaper than therapy!

E is 1!!

I know I am past his birthday by a good two months, but I am a little slow keeping this current these days. We had my favorite photographer (CAT Photography) take E's one year pics the weekend before his birthday and they turned out great! Here are some of my favorites....

As well as one last pic from his birthday party, where he polished off his chocolate cupcake....the ENTIRE thing....